Escape to Risks
by Demolation Flame
Summary: A story going back to when Tobias/Four was an initiate
1. Chapter 1

**Divergent is by far one of my favorite books, and Four/Tobias is definitely my favorite character, so I decided to go back before Divergent happens to when Tobias goes through his initiation. I've tried to keep as close to Divergent as possible with people we know were initiates with Tobias, and appearances of Tobias, Eric, Zeke, ect. Writing may not be the best but right now I'm just focusing on finishing the story and generally avoiding plot-holes. ~Thanks **

**Rated T for language and minor fighting scenes (Nothing more than what was in Divergent itself) **

**_Escape to Risks_**

_Divergent, _the thought whispered in the dark-haired boy's mind, vibrating through him, under his skin until he was certain he would go insane by the time his name was called. His deep blue eyes roamed the crowds of the factions, moving from the Dauntless, dark-clothed, exotic-looking creatures he'd never paid much notice to, to the Erudite. _I could be Erudite… _but he failed to summon any conviction in the idea, and quickly flicked his gaze to the Candor.

_I lie too easily, _he thought, the corners of his lips quirking up. He closed his eyes for a moment, long lashes brushing his cheeks. _Amity is out. _Opening his eyes when a name close to his own was called out he breathed in deeply, running a shaky hand through his already disheveled hair, before releasing the breath loudly.

He heard his name and his heart pounded against his chest, threatening to burst out of his ribcage. His strides cut across the distance without his conscious decision of which he was glad for. The boy, bearing a lean frame, stood before the man, a Dauntless man, with a jolt of determination tearing through him. His eyes caught on the gleam the lights reflected on the piercing in the man's eyebrow before flickering to the blade offered to him.

_Thank you,_ he thought reflexively as he took the knife from the man, testing the foreign weight of the object in his hand before stepping closer to a bowl. The crackle of the sizzling coals echoed in his ears, and with fierce satisfaction he brought the knife against the palm of his hand, unflinchingly holding it over the coals.

Raising his eyes to meet one Abnegation man he felt his lips upturning with relief, even as the man's fierce, blazing eyes threatened to destroy him on the spot. _This is _my _choice, father. _

With momentarily un-stricken steps the boy crossed the distance to stand with the other Dauntless initiates, the slight curl of his lips unchanged despite the whisperings of 'a stiff never making it,' dancing around him. Closing his eyes while tuning out the remainder of the Choosing Ceremony the boy took deep breaths as the realization of his decision consumed him.

_Dauntless was my only choice and I haven't an idea what I'm getting myself in to. _For a moment he felt an absurd urge to laugh at the irony of his situation. _But whatever it is, I've just traded a life of torment for one bound to bring more insanity. _

"Hey Stiff, what's your name?"

Opening his eyes to see a small but strong boy, a Dauntless-born initiate, with bronze skin had his arms crossed, a curious expression in his light hazel eyes. He had multiple piercings; two silver rings in one brow and one silver ring in nose, along with a dark, unidentifiable tattoo trailing from beneath his simple black t-shirt. "Tobias," he answered, voice rumbling as he setting an equally curious gaze on the boy. "Yours?"

"Zeke," he replied, turning his head to the side slightly. "It's practically unheard of for a Stiff to transfer," was all he said before a willowy girl bounded to where the two were, glancing over Tobias briefly. She brought her gaze up to his, beginning to open her mouth when the Dauntless members began running. Turning to follow the faction the girl ran to catch up, followed by Zeke who merely glanced at him expectantly.

Shaking off the daze, Tobias began running after his faction, gaze involuntarily flitting to meet his father's as he passed, but then a boy about his size rammed into his shoulder and his attention was forced away. Instead he focused on taking even breaths and not being run over by those who followed, allowing the insanity to overtake him.

When their destination turned out to be the train tracks, whistle blaring in everyone's ears, Tobias felt a laugh catch in his throat, covering it with a cough as he scanned the crowds of initiates who wore either terrified expressions or apprehensive. He took a deep breath, realizing with a dim jolt of curiosity how it was he wasn't one of the ones with frightened glances.

"Maybe you have prepared me some," he murmured under his breath, running a hand through his hair again. A scornful laugh dragged him from his thoughts.

"What're you muttering about stiff?"

It was another transfer, _Erudite_, Tobias thought. As he turned to face the boy he retained an easy posture, relaxing his clenched fists as he took in the transfer's dark, angry eyes directed at nothing in particular. A sneer displaying his straight, white teeth, as though carved into the boy's face, was directed at everything and everyone.

He didn't appear to be particularly strong, Tobias decided. _But he's the one that shoved me earlier. _A shrug. "Might want to catch the train instead of picking fights with other transfers, don't you think?" and with a sharp turn he followed the string of Dauntless-born initiates. Despite never getting much chance to run his legs felt strong, supporting him as he caught up with the last person.

Tobias locked eyes on the person in front of him as the athletic, lean boy prepared to jump, taking little time to propel himself toward the open cart. With a steady breath Tobias bent his knees, tensing up until he lunged forward, arm reaching for the handle when an unpleasant thought made him miss the chance to swing easily into the cart.

For a moment he focused on getting a better grip of the handle before swinging himself toward the cart, his feet making contact with a dull _thump. _About the time his balance began catapulting him backwards cool, pianist fingers wrapped around his wrist, holding him half in the cart half out. Heart pounding he allowed the figure to pull him in and a little ways away from the entryway.

Standing upright he took a deep breath, regaining a calm composure before bringing his eyes to twinkling ash-colored eyes. "Thanks-" he began, cut-off by a quiet laugh.

"You're a stiff, aren't you?"

Tobias frowned but didn't answer, instead casting an uncomfortable glance across the fields and buildings, dancing with the moving background as though from a different world altogether. For a moment he considered moving away from the entryway, but then his mind was drawn to the adrenaline pounding through his veins but a whispering voice in the back of his mind told him to stay where he was. _So this is my new life, insane stunts that haven't even begun. _

"Impressive," was all she said before walking away, sitting down beside an unfamiliar, dusty blond boy. For a moment longer he gazed out of the cart, casting his glance toward the transfers still boarding the cart. _I was the only one who caught up, maybe I belong here, _but even in his mind the thought was a question, and as he turned away from the transfers he'd left behind he felt a tugging, convincing thought in the back of his mind. _Maybe I don't belong anywhere though; I'm not really Abnegation, not Candor, Erudite, or Amity…_

With a mental shake of his head Tobias took a few steps when he heard his name shouted by a voice he knew; Zeke's. With a grin springing to his lips he forced his legs to move, for a moment overpowering every doubt in his mind.

_I am Dauntless; I am brave. _


	2. Chapter 2

Zeke, with a mischievous gleam in his hazel eyes, stretched out. "I got up too early for this," he spoke through a yawn, and with the wind whipping noisily through the cart his words were barely discernible.

Tobias almost laughed. "So where are we going?" he yelled.

The boy gave a slight shrug. "Dunno, guess we'll find out," a smirk. "So you're the first stiff to transfer, oughta be interesting."

Before Tobias could answer another boy scoffed. "C'mon Zeke, what're ya doing? Don't get the Stiff's hopes up, he won't make it past the first round," he beamed a cocky smile to Tobias, shrugging almost apologetically.

"You don't know that, Chase, he might make it if they split us all up," he yawned again, cutting off his last couple words to incoherent babble.

Another laugh but the subject was dropped. Tobias cast another conspicuous glance around, missing Zeke's question. Forcing his attention back to Zeke he took a deep breath, "Sorry, what?"

He rolled his eyes. "I _asked," _he smirked as he drew out the word, "why did you leave Abnegation?"

_Not quite out of the bushes, I guess, _Tobias thought, giving a subtle shrug. Concentrating on maintaining a nonchalant composure he forced his voice to come out bored rather than nervous. "Just had to leave," _and in other words, don't ask. _

A flash of disbelief flickered across his friend's eyes before it was replaced with acceptance. The knot in his stomach loosened with the temporary relief, but his mind didn't hear half of what Zeke rambled on about the Dauntless compound.

"Time to jump ya'll!" someone hollered, jarring Tobias out of his reverie. Climbing to his feet he shot a questioning glance at Zeke before he saw what some Dauntless born had already started to do; jumping out of the cart onto an unforgiving, concrete rooftop.

A jolt of overwhelming fear ignited his peaceful heartbeat, and as he cast a frantic glance at the still nearing rooftop he swallowed the lump in the back of his throat.

Even Zeke seemed a little shaken, but shrugging by Tobias he got closer to the edge until he jumped, landing in a mess, but on the rooftop.

"This is insane," Tobias murmured, but with a notable sigh he followed the technique he'd witnessed both Zeke and another boy complete with varying ranges of success. Muscles tensed he leaped forward.

Suspended in air for a moment he felt his stomach clench as weightlessness made his stomach plummet. When his feet landed hard against the concrete he felt his weight moving forward and tossed his hands in front of him to catch himself. The slight stinging at his palms went unnoticed as he glanced around the rooftop.

There were a few Dauntless members gathered about, but most barely skimmed over the initiates, preferring to talk amongst themselves. That is, except for one with coffee skin and graying black hair framing his sharp features. His dark eyes seemed to pierce each initiate.

A sixth sense seemed to tell Tobias someone was watching him, drilling their eyes into his back, and when he turned around it was the lone man, the man that had an essence about him unlike the others. When Tobias brought his eyes to the man neither looked away from each other for a long moment, but then Tobias' attention was torn away by a long, drawn out scream that pierced his skin to the very marrow of his bones.

Getting to his feet too hurriedly he repressed the urge to be sick when the sound cut off brusquely. Several clustered closer to the edge of the building, but Tobias stayed back, repulsed when he heard gruff laughter. Fists clenched he took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a brief moment when he was shoved forward. "Meditating are you, Stiff?"

Crossing his arms he opened his eyes, hardening his gaze as he met the dark eyes cast over by thick, overbearing eyebrows. "I've got a name, brainiac, and it's not 'Stiff.'" _You're not the scariest bully I've seen, Eric. _

The boy, Eric, made a guttural sound. "So the Stiff's got a temper, hmm? Maybe you left because you're a misfit,"

Tobias didn't respond at first, instead glared into the almond eyes that held nothing but anger and a lust for power. Eric took a step closer, a smirk twisting his expression into one even more appalling. "Or maybe you've got some family issues you'd like to share?"

He felt his face flush, his heartbeat echoing in his ears, but before he could reply—though with what he wasn't sure—the lone Dauntless man cleared his throat, addressing everyone. "Behind me is a ledge," the power in his voice seemed to resonate through the air, vibrating from molecule to molecule. Somehow it had a calming effect while instilling a position of leadership all the same.

"In order to move on to the first stage of initiation you must jump from this ledge," he paused, seeming to take in every individual with one sweeping gaze. His next words seemed directed toward no one at all, yet every individual. His gaze never left Tobias. "Whenever you're ready, by all means, proceed."

Short and to the point, the Dauntless way of speeches; simplifying even the most daring of tasks in an attempt to eliminate fear. Tobias felt his heart jump with a new shock of adrenaline reverberating through his veins.

Heights. _I hate heights. _

Taking a deep breath Tobias breathed out through his mouth, swallowing down the anger that had just flooded him. _Misfit… _

Tobias took a step forward, and with only a moment's pause he walked slowly toward the ledge, not meeting anyone's gaze for fear his anger would burn out and he'd be left without the desperate desire to prove himself, more _to himself_ than anyone.

Once he stood precariously close the edge of the ledge his breaths came in quick little gasps, his flight response begging him to forget the insane idea of jumping off a building.

_Factionless wouldn't be that bad…_

Setting his jaw he stepped up the half-foot ledge and peered down into the dark depths that beckoned to him. _This is what I signed up for, _Tobias thought before bending his knees. Releasing the tension in his calves he jumped over the edge and his stomach befriended his heart as weightlessness and fear made him half delirious.

The minute it took him to free fall the seven stories seemed to take hours as his mind began questioning an end to this plummet, an end to the torture; and then at last he felt a whipping of rope against his bare skin. His breath shuddered out of him as a wave a euphoria brushed the fear from the corners of his mind.

_I'm alive, I'm in a net_. After a long moment Tobias glanced around to see arms reaching out for him to leave the net, and for a second he wondered where he was. Shaking off the questions circulating his mind he began sliding toward the edge of the net, landing on a steel platform. His legs shook slightly so he locked his knees as he faced the mixture of cheering and confused mutterings.

A woman, young in appearance with a heart-shaped face and pale skin raised a brow at him expectantly. "What's your name, Stiff?"

Biting his tongue Tobias glanced around a moment before answering a confident-sounding "Tobias," He turned his attention back to the jade, almond eyes that showed a tint of what looked like disbelief. Over her should she yelled, "First Jumper; Tobias,"

Before she finished what she was saying there was a grunt as another body landed in the net, then a shout of joy mixed with amazement. Tobias took a few steps away from the net before turning to see who the next jumper was; a familiar face. It took the boy little time to scramble his way off the net, making an overconfident bow to the green-eyed woman.

The woman rolled her eyes. "And I've gotta deal with you for the next few weeks," her voice played with exasperation and restrained amusement.

Zeke scoffed, "You've got something to look forward to now," he crowed before making his way to where Tobias stood. Looks of wild enjoyment lighting up his eyes he gave another triumphant yell before punching Tobias in the arm. "Didn't think you'd be the first jumper, maybe you transferred 'cuz you're cut out for this place."

The corners of his lips quirked up until he saw the next figure caught by the comforting net, then he scowled. "Hey, who was the guy up there?"

A look of confusion passed his expression before understanding lit up his eyes again. "Oh, you mean Max? He's one of the Dauntless leaders," his voice sounded matter-of-fact as he grimaced at the figure who'd gotten out of the net. "And that's…who? Got such a fun attitude," sarcasm layered his voice so thick it was amazing, to Tobias, how open he was with his comments.

_This is Dauntless, free to say whatever you want, apparently. _

Shrugging Tobias watched as Eric walked to stand a few feet away from where they stood. "Some Erudite that's got a," he hesitated before smiling slightly, "_fun _attitude," They laughed, trading comments until everyone else had jumped. Occasionally Zeke would cheer for a Dauntless-born, but most he seemed unconcerned with.

When the willowy Dauntless-born crashed into the net last Tobias couldn't help feeling a tug of disappointment in the back of his mind. For some reason he'd really hoped she would have jumped sooner, but nonetheless she bounded over to where Zeke and him stood, shooting a confident smirk at Zeke.

"Don't get cocky yet, bud, I'm still gonna beat ya in fighting."

Tobias felt a knot form in his stomach, and he repressed a sigh as the group was ushered into the building.

"From here we're splitting the Dauntless-born initiates and the transfers. Transfers, you are going to go with-"

"Me," a rumbling voice cut in to what the green-eyed woman was going to say. "Thank you, Charlene," Tobias watched as the woman, Charlene, sighed, conceding the 'stage' to the man who only introduced himself as 'me.' "From here I am going to take the transfers on a tour of the compound, so follow me, and keep up."

Tobias hesitated before following the herding transfers, his feet taking him away from Eric without really thinking about it. He was thankful his body was ready to go to robot-mode, it left his mind to wander over his fellow transfers.

Eric he was, unfortunately, already acquainted with, but transferring with him had been three other Erudites. The other three all had short, shoulder-length hair resembling the same frosty blonde. With further examination Tobias realized, with a jolt, the three appeared to be sisters; triplets even, with similar, narrow features and too-alike mossy eyes.

There was one Amity boy still clothed in bright, cheerful colors that seemed all too out of place for the Dauntless setting of dark, gothic-style clothing. His boyish features and shaggy brown hair made him seem too young to have taken his aptitude test, let along be going through initiation.

The only remaining initiate, another boy from Candor, looked lean with hints of muscle bordering whatever bare skin that shown under his long-sleeved and long-pants of solid black and white. The sharp features of his cheek bones and prominent chin made him look older even.

"Boy, am I boring you?"

Tobias tensed minutely, bringing his attention to 'Me.' With a breath of relief he realized the man wasn't directing his mood at him, rather the boy from Candor.

"Not exactly, no," bad mistake.

The man stared for a long minute at the initiate before crossing his arms. "Name?" he spoke tersely.

"Jace Roberts," he answered too proudly.

"Well, Jace, unless you'd like to become Factionless I suggest you learn to keep your opinions to yourself and listen to what I've got to say, sound good? Good."

Tobias hated it when people asked a question then answered it, no matter the situation. He bit the inside of his cheek though as the tour went on. As time went by the amount of Dauntless members dwindled, and eventually 'Me' stopped in front of a slightly larger doorway. "Time for dinner," was all he said before opening the door himself and going in.

Slowly the initiates began trailing in behind him. Tobias followed after only a moment more of hesitation, the slight grumbling of his stomach pushing him forward.


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner came and went quickly, a blur to Tobias's mind; though he thought he had sat between the candor boy, Jace, and the Amity boy that had introduced himself as being Andy. He remembered vaguely that Zeke and the willowy girl had sat beside each other, across from him, but Tobias had merely picked at his food, willing the knot in his stomach to uncoil.

Once dinner was over 'me,'–Tobias had forgotten to ask Zeke what the man's name actually was–escorted the initiates out of the dining room. He led them, the Amity boy, Andy, straggling behind the entire group, down dimly lighted corridors until they stopped at a doorway. The man turned to face all of them, his voice loud enough for each of them to hear.

"For the remainder of initiation each of you will sleep in the room to my right," his voice left no room for questions, his eyes easily skimming the crowd before him, while no emotion really entered his words either. "Starting tomorrow you, as individuals, will be responsible for finding your way back to the pit by eight o' clock, sharp. If you are late then you can consider yourself factionless, if you cannot find the pit, then you are not fit to remain in Dauntless. Understood?"

He didn't leave time for questions to be asked, rather continued on with what he wanted to say, his voice changing to one a bit stricter. Colder.

"Initiation is split into three stages and only ten of our initiates will actually move on to become Dauntless members. With that in mind, there are a total of fourteen of you, so four will be cut no matter what, though potentially more cuts can be made. Any questions?"

One of the three Erudite girls stepped forward, scowling. "But don't the Dauntless need members, why would you cut some initiates out?"

"Name?" the man's voice was quiet again. The girl cringed, slim figure shrinking back.

"Cassidy Jackson," she answered hastily, her shrill voice trembling slightly.

"Well, Cassidy," somehow he made her name to sound like a poison, a fowl substance. "We require members who _belong _in Dauntless, not members who merely played with the _fantasy_ of becoming Dauntless."

Tobias watched as the girl swallowed back her initial fear of the man and straightened, replacing her previous expression of fear with one more determined. Her comrades, possible sisters, attempted donning similar expressions but failed to appear strong.

Flicking his eyes to the man Tobias locked gazes with the cool, hazel eyes that refused to look away. Setting himself he forced his gaze to stay fixated rather than looking away as his mind urged him to do. He wouldn't be afraid of a twisted Dauntless member, he refused to be.

For a moment longer the man maintained the eye contact before smirking, scanning the whole group again. "By the way, my name is Amar."

He turned on his heel, walking away from the group of transfers without another word. Tobias chewed on the inside of his cheek before following the group of initiates trailing into the room, claiming a top bunk as his own. He noticed most were changing into the new clothes that had been laid on each bed, and debated on changing himself.

A part of him didn't want to, not out of distaste for the gloomy clothing, but out of distaste of anyone seeing the scars lining his skin. A part of his mind still wanted to maintain privacy of his most threatening secret. _Second most, _he thought remembering vaguely he was Divergent, and whatever that was, it was a dangerous thing to be.

With a sigh he pulled the gray shirt over his head, casting his gaze at a wall as he slipped the new shirt over his head. He changed pants wearily before climbing into the bed as most had already done. Closing his eyes he willed himself to sleep, but knew it would not be so easy.

Morning came with a jolt as Tobias breathed irregularly. His mind raced with the nightmare that had haunted him and it took him several minutes to regain some regularity in breaths as his eyes darted around to ensure Marcus was nowhere to be found.

_I transferred; I am at the Dauntless compound. _He repeated the words several times as he changed into the second set of clothes that had been laid out; dark jeans and a loose, black t-shirt.

No one else was awake yet, and when he glanced over at the clock he noted there were only twenty minutes or so before everyone was supposed to be at the pit. _Everyone will oversleep unless I wake people up, _but a part of him was reserved not to. For a moment longer he pondered waking anyone else up before sighing.

"Hey," his voice was thick, and he had to clear his voice before he could get anyone to stir. After a moment a few began raising their heads and he slipped out of the room. Once he stood out in the corridor he took a deep breath. _I know how to get to the dining hall from here, I'm sure I can find someone to tell me where the Pit is from there. _Or at least he hoped.

So he walked toward the dining hall, legs covering the distance with quick strides as the remaining wisps of the nightmare danced in the backs of his mind. He turned down a few hallways until he heard the loud chaos of the dining hall, and ducked in. Taking a deep breath he watched people for a moment, some with loops in the eyebrows, lips, or noses, while others had little skin uncovered by ink.

His eyes locked on someone who seemed a bit calmer of the two extremes and walked up to her quickly. "Can you tell me how to get to the Pit from here?" he pitched his voice loud enough she could hear him, and when she turned her eyes frowned at him.

"Transfer, hmm? When you leave the dining hall turn to the left," she gave him a list of directions and after a long moment he thanked her, running through the directions.

Dodging breakfast though his stomach disagreed with him on the idea he turned left and followed the directions he'd received. After what felt like way too long he saw the Pit up ahead and quickened his pace. He saw Amar, short black hair with a strong jaw-line and wiry build, talking with the jade-eyed woman.

When Tobias walked up he caught the end of their conversation which ended with a few witty words on Amar's behalf before the woman nodded in Tobias's direction. "Looks like you might have one initiate."

The man glanced over his shoulder before smirking, "Hmph, looks like you're right, Avery," he crossed his arms, facing Tobias. "Name?"

Tobias forced his expression to remain calm as he gave his full name. Something flashed in Amar's eyes before he nodded.

"You're Marcus's boy," the woman murmured though by her eyes glancing in the distance he doubted she really meant the comment towards him.

A flash of the nightmare whipped up to the surface of his mind and he frowned. Amar looked at his watch before sighing. "Two minutes," he muttered, rolling his neck.

Tobias took the moment as a chance to glance around the Pit, studying people who stood out more than others. He heard footsteps from several people, pounding furiously at the ground, and then he felt the shove behind him. "What? Couldn't stop to wake some of us up?"

Tobias straightened, meeting Eric's cold gaze levelly. "I said 'hey.'" He answered quietly, glancing behind Eric to see Andy stepping back away, Cassidy watching with wide eyes, and the Candor boy, Jace, smirking. There was a long moment of silence before Amar cleared his throat.

"Well now that we have that business over," he spoke precisely, watching Eric with a raised brow, "I'll be taking you all to a room where you will go through your fear landscapes. Follow me, and I will explain on the way."

Eric glowered at Tobias before following the man with a scowl, and slowly the others began following. Tobias followed beside Jace who was almost laughing. "You're interesting, Tobias, isn't it?"

Tobias nodded slightly, tuning in to what Amar was explaining to be a fear landscape. When they reached the room that was their destination Tobias bit the inside of his cheek, taking in the room carefully.

There was a panel of each of the leaders, and an empty spot that Amar took up. _So what are my fears? Heights… _

"Tobias!" he winced, knowing in the pit of his stomach what he was going to be told. He took a deep breath, already walking forwards, toward Amar. "You're up first,"


	4. Chapter 4

Tobias titled his head to the side, allowing the needle to pierce his neck. He winced slightly when it went in, feeling the serum enter his skin, and then the needle was withdrawn, and his feet mechanically took him to the room he was told to go into.

For a moment nothing happened, and then everything around him changed, wind whipping his hair around. He squinted, raising an arm to cover his face as he realized with a jolt where he was, though for no apparent reason.

_Why am I on top of a building? _His thoughts exploded in his mind as his eyes closed and his heart raced painfully fast. He shook his head. "No, no, no,"

_I knew this would be one of my fears though; _the thought did little good for his nerves thrumming through him. Adrenaline and pounding fear coursed through his veins.

'_Overcome your fear and you move on,' _Amar's voice reminded him in the back of his mind.

"How do I overcome my fear though," Tobias mumbled between breaths, then his mind snapped to attention and he figured out what he would have to do. He laughed, opening his eyes against the abuse of the wind. _I'm on top of an insanely tall building, and I have to jump. _

He felt another laugh coming and he bent his knees, taking a deep breath. _So jump, _he thought, starting to uncoil the muscles in his legs.

And for a moment the weightlessness nauseated his stomach before he felt solid ground beneath his feet again. He breathed out in relief, a burst of triumph pounding through his veins.

And then he was knocked to his knees by something closing in around him. He shook his head again, yelling. For a moment he tried pounding against the walls that enclosed him, but then the walls closed in further around him and he had to curl into a ball to fit.

_Oh God, the closet. The d closet!_

Tobias choked back another shout, pulling his legs against himself tighter, burying himself into a complete ball. He rested his forehead against his knees and bit his tongue until he felt coppery warmth spread out in his mouth.

_Focus on the pain, ignore the box. _He tried, and for a moment it worked, but then the box closed in more and Tobias felt the panic rise up in his throat.

He pulled himself in closer and closer until it was painful to move much more than to cast his eyes around. _How the h do I overcome this fear? _His thoughts came in waves of helplessness to brief jolts of bravery. Finally he took a deep breath. _I'll never be in a closet again, _he thought firmly. _Marcus is gone; I never have to deal with him again. _His breaths came easier. _I am free… and I am Dauntless._

Just for a moment the thought was enough, leaving Tobias stretching out sorely against the ground. He took deep breaths for several moments before scrambling to his feet, glancing around wearily.

_What will my next fear be? _He wondered, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Shoot her!" it was a command, shrill and sharp. He opened his eyes and felt a stinging in the backs of his eyes. The woman he thought he knew, a tugging in the back of his mind told him that he should know her at least.

"I-I can't shoot," he mumbled, still trying to figure out the attachment he bore to the woman, something about her seemed so familiar. Safe.

The gun was pushed into his hand, leaving him to cringe at the sharp voice commanding him to shoot her. Shoot her…shoot her.

He raised the gun, his stomach knotting to the point it was painful. _It isn't real, this isn't real, _but the emotion plaguing the back of his mind was real, as was the tear that trailed his cheek when he tensed his finger, firing the weapon. He choked on the air he breathed as he watched the scene fade before him, replacing it too quickly with the figure that already haunted his nightmares.

Too-alike eyes bore into his, the crooked, evil smile that only the man's son had ever saw, and the dreaded, leather belt in his hand. "Oh God," Tobias murmured, shaking his head. He heard the laugh as the belt lashed out against his skin, and he cringed.

"It's for your own good, Tobias,"

"No," Tobias yelled, stepping back into a soft figure behind him. He spun around to see another Marcus, and when he looked around there were others all around him, closing in with their belts lashing at him like whips. "No," he yelled again, more of a moan. "I got away from you! You can't be here," but his voice cracked as one of the belts hit his back, another smacking him hard across his stomach.

"Leave me alone," he cried out, rushing towards one of the figures. When the figure dissipated Tobias gasped as his balance was off-place and he fell to his knees and one last belt slashed at his neck.

Lights turned on and four figures walked in, among them being Amar and the leader that had been atop the building in the first place. Tobias got to his feet, taking a shaky breath, and when he looked down at his arm he noticed dimly there wasn't a searing mark, only the remaining sting of the simulation.

"Four fears are unheard of," someone murmured to Amar; a woman with long, cascading black hair and vibrant gray eyes. Her pale skin and slender features made her look stronger than she probably was, somehow.

Tobias felt eyes staring at him so he looked up, taking a deep breath to attempt calming his pounding heart. It wasn't successful, but as he met Amar's level gaze he felt a streak of confidence entering the corners of his thoughts. He'd made it, and apparently four fears was a good thing. _Or a bad thing, _Tobias thought for a moment, but shrugged the idea aside.

"Congratulations, _Four_, you've completed the first stage of initiation. You can either leave," he waved a hand carelessly, "do what you want, or you can stay and watch the remaining transfers."

Tobias looked up at Amar in surprise to see him smirking. _Four…a nickname? _He nodded slightly, "Thank you," he answered mechanically, realizing dimly what he'd just been given.

_Four… _he felt his lips quirking up as he followed the leaders walking out the door. As he walked by Amar he felt a hand clamp on his shoulder. "Four's a good name, don't you think?" the man laughed, walking by him and out the door.

_Tobias…Four… _He smiled as he walked out the door, shouldering by the fears that lingered in every inch of his mind. "Four," he murmured under his breath.

Four.

Sorry, haven't posted a chapter in a while since finals have been keeping me busy. I plan on posting more chapters after this week though. ~Thanks


	5. Chapter 5

For a while Tobias strolled through the compound with idle curiosity, his mind racing with the events of his fear landscape. _Four fears; heights, claustrophobia, shooting that woman, and Marcus. _His mind lingered on the image of the woman before he'd shot her, easily conjuring the image of her curly, raven hair and olive-toned skin.

_Who was she? _He wondered vaguely as he roamed down another, unexplored area of the compound. His deep, indigo orbs scanned the various stores as he passed them, noting dimly each clothing or accessory arrangement displayed within the front windows. After passing a few more stores his eyes locked on a peculiar store-type setting.

A tattoo parlor.

The corners of his lips tugged down more-so than normal, his eyes narrowing. In Abnegation a tattoo would be considered self-indulgent, and therefore not allowed, but in Dauntless…

Before Tobias realized what he was doing his sneaker-clad feet walked through the entryway where he was greeted by a woman that introduced herself as Tori.

"So you're the first jumper, Four?"

For a moment Tobias just stood there before realizing with a bit of a jolt the woman, Tori, was talking to him. "Yes," he answered. _How did that get spread so quickly? _

Tori smiled, a knowing sparkle lighting up her eyes. "So, did you come in for a tattoo or a piercing?"

When Tobias scowled at the mention of a piercing Tori laughed, "Tattoo it is; any idea what you want?"

"The Dauntless symbol on my back," he spoke with a new-found confidence, a small quirk of his lips giving way to a smile. _A new tradition for a new life. _

An hour later Tobias heard his nickname called out by a familiar voice and he clambered to his feet; previously perched by the roaring waters of the chasm. His legs previously crossed complained at the abruptness of movement, but he ignored it and waved a hand to let Zeke know where he was.

"Four fears?" the incredulous tone to his friend's voice made him laugh.

"You seem so surprised," Tobias replied, mock offense tinting his tone. "So how'd your landscape go?"

Zeke shrugged. "Nine fears, decent time," a furrow formed between his brows. "Shauna had eleven but got a better time than I did."

Not certain how to respond Tobias nodded. Zeke shook his head in exasperation before rolling his shoulders. "Lunch is in a couple minutes, I'm heading up there now, and Shauna and most of the Dauntless-born will already be there…" he seemed hesitant for a moment before smiling apologetically. "Two of the transfers are gone,"

Tobias scowled before understanding donned on him. "They were cut," he confirmed. _So Amar was serious, only ten of us will make it, and while there aren't a whole lot of us, there are still cuts to be made. _"Who?"

The word seemed to hang hollow for a moment before a shrug. "I think one of the names was Andy, and the other was one of the triplets, sorry man."

After a moment to wrap his head around the idea he raised a shoulder nonchalantly. "We're going to lunch?" he asked in a strained attempt to change the subject. Despite the shock thrumming through his core he couldn't deny his stomach's need for substance any longer. After all, he'd skipped at least three meals already since he hadn't eaten lunch the other day either.

The walk to the lunchroom provided Tobias the chance to concentrate on his thoughts as Zeke needed little participation on his behalf to carry a conversation. His consistent stream of babbling was merely a dull roar in the back of his mind, until they reached the lunchroom and his ears were bombarded by the simple name, "Four."

When his eyes scanned the crowds in the room he assumed the majority would be initiates, but with a jolt of surprise he realized very few of the initiates were focused on the dull repetition of his nickname, rather staring down their food with peculiar scrutiny. _Upset maybe? _

Tobias made his way to a seat, noting Zeke sat across from him, once again plopping beside Shauna. Flicking his attention to the food on his plate he ate what was in front of him, not inquiring what it was he was chewing and swallowing, and for a long while it was a simple process; chew, swallow, chew, swallow, chew, swallow.

And then a harsh voice spoke up behind him, biting chill reminding Tobias that one person in particular seemed to absolutely hate him. Out of the corners of his eyes he saw a figure, Eric, sit down beside him, barely noticing his food however. Instead his piercing glare rested on Tobias, a scar-like smile splitting his face.

"So, _Stiff _you must think you're some kind of celebrity, eh? Kind of like your father, hmm?"

Tobias stiffened, gaze darting between Eric and the inquisitive stares courtesy of the willowy girl Zeke identified as Shauna, and Zeke. "Actually, I'm not like my father-"

"Are you sure? Are you certain you aren't like your abus-"

"Shut up!" Tobias growled, glaring with murderous intensity at the Erudite transfer who somehow knew too much about his previous faction life.

"What's wrong _Stiff? _Don't want your friends here to know how your father whip-"

"Dammit Eric!" Tobias yelled, lunging forward before he even knew what he was doing, and before he could pull back his fist connected with the soft cartilage of Eric's nose, dark, warm liquid trailing from both nostrils.

For a long moment no one moved, uncertain as to what had just happened, and then chaos broke out.

Eric reacted at the same time Zeke started to move to intervene, but Eric already had Tobias on the ground, knuckles connecting with his cheek once, twice, three times. Zeke yelled at him to stop, struggling to get a firm hold on his arms but was unable to. Shauna moved to his side, attempting to help him before a cold voice cut in sharply.

"_Every_one. Stop."

For a moment everyone continued to resist, Eric resisting Zeke and Shauna while Tobias fought to avoid the flurry of fists still aimed at his face. Slowly Zeke and Shauna strayed back, leaving Eric's arms completely unhindered until Amar's calloused hands clasped on his elbows, pulling him back sharply.

Tobias got to his feet too quickly, stumbling forward with a wave of dizziness. Shauna caught his arm, Zeke catching his other, leaving Tobias to his futile attempt at seeing through the blurriness of his vision. "You two, take him to the infirmary, I'll deal with this one,"

Zeke and Shauna obeyed swiftly, partially supporting Tobias as they guided him in a beeline to the infirmary, Zeke shooting glances behind their backs to see Amar had already taken Eric wherever he had intended him to go.

By the time they got to the infirmary Tobias' mind was in a blur, his only concentration on why the world persisted to spin and what the splitting headache had to do with the disturbance in the equilibrium around him, and eventually unconsciousness overtook him.

Thanks for reading everyone, and reviews are definitely appreciated ^^ I'm sorry I've been slow about updating


	6. Chapter 6

The sterile scents and the hushed tone-whispers drifted into Tobias' awareness as his mind became aware of his surroundings once again. His eyes opened slowly, uncertainly with the assaulting lights forcing him to blink several times. For a moment he merely laid there, glancing around him to take in the settings of the infirmary, and then a slender figure with long, flaxen hair and vivid, electric-blue eyes moved into his immediate vision.

"You'd better hurry, Four, initiation goes on in about a half hour."

Tobias' brows furrowed as he noted dimly the deep voice didn't come from the woman standing before him, as her lips neither moved, nor was she directing her attention to him at all, rather a figure beside her. Casting his attention to the figure he took in the solid definition and keen, gunmetal gray eyes of Amar.

For a moment Tobias studied the slight frown and crease in the man's forehead before he swung his legs off the bed, righting himself in the movement. His stomach clenched as a part of him waited to be chastised or worse, as he would have been in Abnegation, but after a moment he realized with a jolt that wouldn't happen.

"Did you not hear me?" Amar's voice had an edge of impatience, mimicked by his now crossed arms and deepening scowl.

Tobias got to his feet, frowning. _So it goes on, simple as that… _"Where is Eric?" he forced his gaze up to meet the steely, narrowed eyes, ignoring the twisting of his stomach. Anger pulsed through him as memory of Eric's words pounced to the center of his attention. _How does he know about Marcus? _

"Don't concern yourself with the boy," he smirked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "If I had to guess, he won't be fretting about your previous faction."

For a moment Tobias allowed his curiosity to be piqued before nodding, leaving the room with a deep breath. As he walked out of the infirmary altogether his focus was replaced by a low grumble from his stomach, reminding him that while he had ate dinner the previous night, that had still been hours ago.

As his footsteps carried him down varying hallways, toward the room his fellow initiates and himself shared, he found himself wondering again about the woman from his landscape. _Who was she? _He wondered with a vague churning in his core.

The sound of far-away yelling caught his attention, pulling his eyes to the scene of Zeke and Shauna, fingers entwined, calling out his name. Or at least he assumed they were calling out his name, as when he cast a swift glance around him there was no one else wandering the hallways. He raised a hand in greeting, catching up with them he found Zeke with a raised brow, questioning concern flickering in his eyes. Turning his gaze to Shauna he found similar concern, a trivial inquiry in the furrowed brows and down-turned corners of her lips.

"I'm fine," he spoke quietly, wanting to avoid the unspoken question that silently bombarded him. Pinching the bridge of his nose he closed his eyes. "Did you hear what Eric said?"

When he opened his eyes he saw Shauna watching him expectantly, Zeke with an apologetic smile. "Sorry man, but yeah," he paused frowning. "Guess it's true…?" his voice trailed off but Tobias nodded.

"Yeah," he glared at the ground, "Anyways, I've gotta go," turning without another word he walked off to the room, retrieving clothes to change into before retreating to the confines of the bathrooms. A part of him didn't want to change in front of the other initiates, not considering the deep, white lines that decorated the skin of his back wherever his new tattoo didn't cover.

He changed quickly into the new clothes before coming out of the bathrooms, moving quickly down the hallways. His footfalls, quiet as they were, seemed amplified by his mind's strong awareness of dwindling time. It wouldn't be much longer before the clocks rang out eight o' clock, and would signal the continuation of initiation. _And my potential becoming factionless if I don't get to the pit soon. _

Pushing the unwelcome thought aside Tobias sped up a bit more, barely noting the crowds of people, some with outrageous colors streaking their hair while others bearing little resemblance of skin. After another minute of slipping through the crowds of loud Dauntless members he caught sight of the familiar, pale blonde ringlets of one of the triplets. Not slowing his gait until he came upon the small circle of transfers Tobias found himself coming up beside Jace to his right, and the triplet, Cassidy, to his left.

"Hey," Jace greeted, a tense edge to his clear voice. His pursed lips and averted gaze offered zero encouragement so Tobias shrugged, offering a similar greeting before turning his attention to Cassidy.

Cassidy smiled; the cast over of sorrow poorly concealed by the flimsy effort at convincing anyone she didn't feel the loss of her sister. Tobias glanced around to see the other triplet was nowhere to be seen either, and with a jolt he realized that Cassidy was the only remaining sister of the triplets.

Not knowing what to say he turned his attention to the lessening crowds of running and hollering Dauntless, his hearing consumed by Amar's booming voice declaring it was eight o' clock, and any transfers not in front of him were cut from initiation. Tobias glanced to see there were only three transfers excluding him in their group.

Eric bore an overconfident smirk despite the angry-looking stretches under each of his eyes, proof that Tobias had, in fact, broken his nose. Cassidy had a look of warring determination and guilt, a slight, upward curve of her lips losing to the glistening of tears threatening to spill out on her cheeks. Jace looked unperturbed, arms crossed with a casual smile playing upon his lips.

Tobias merely listened as Amar continued to explain that they would begin going over how to fight this morning, and then after lunch they would learn to shoot, his eyes scrutinizing a dark streak against the floor. When Amar finished talking and began leading them through the pit to a different room Tobias found himself purposely avoiding Eric, who followed directly behind Amar. Instead Tobias trailed behind the group, behind Cassidy even who walked silently, salty tears trailing down her pale cheeks.

When each of them entered the room they were led to, Amar instructed them to find a bag, while he stood before one himself. For the next half hour he informed them of different techniques, primarily the basics, before releasing them to practice whatever they deemed most likely to 'help them win a fight,' as he'd said with a smirk.

Tobias took in the information for a moment, studying the bag critically before taking up a fighting stance. He distributed his weight carefully, putting more weight on his back foot than his front, before lunging forward, nailing the bag with two jabs before sweeping his back leg into the bag. Each attack made a satisfactory _thud _against the hard leather. He continued to formulate varying combinations from what they had been instructed on until Amar wandered up beside the bag as Tobias proceeded with a string of combinations.

"You have speed, don't forget to use that more than strength," he spoke in a relaxed tone, leaning against the nearby wall. "And also, stop letting your guard slip; it won't matter how fast or strong you are if your opponent smacks you upside the head before you get a hit in."

Tobias nodded before attacking the bag again, reminding himself to take breaths of air before ruthlessly bombarding the leather before him. After a moment longer Amar moved on to help Cassidy, who was clearly less coordinated than her graceful build might have suggested.

By the time lunch came around and Tobias stopped nailing the bag he became aware of his knuckles stinging, courtesy of his fists being burned raw by the unforgiving leather, coincidentally his feet bearing the same abuse. Despite this he found himself smiling to himself as he followed the line of his fellow initiates.

_I'm going to try to start posting chapters more often, but anyways, Thanks for reading ^^ _


	7. Chapter 7

Lunch went by slowly, Tobias sitting with Zeke and Shauna once again, only this time Cassidy joined their small group, joining in their conversations whenever she got the chance to talk between Zeke's consistent babbling. Tobias listened half-heartedly, his attention otherwise directed at the boy glaring into his back with vicious contempt.

Once lunch was over Zeke and Shauna departed from the table with loud goodbyes, nearly racing out of the room while Cassidy and Tobias got caught up in the rushing crowds. Still, the two were the first ones in the training room where Amar stood waiting, arms crossed impatiently. It took several minutes before Eric and Jace showed up, by which point Amar had already finished explaining what they would be doing and was ready to take everyone to a different room.

Wordlessly Eric and Jace followed Amar, leaving Cassidy and Tobias to take up the rear once again. Tobias shoved his hands in his pockets, watching the surroundings pass by aimlessly, until Cassidy spoke up quietly. "To-" she began before changing her ming. "Four?"

Glancing out of the corner of his eyes to see Cassidy fidgeting with her fingers he scowled. "Yeah?"

She seemed uncertain for a moment longer before she sighed. "It's my fault Bonnie and Megan are factionless,"

Tobias frowned, staring at the ground as they walked in silence for a moment. _Why is she telling me this? _He wondered, wishing desperately he wasn't caught in the awkward silence that ticked by second by second. "They chose to join Dauntless," he answered finally, not sure if he meant it to be comforting or a simple fact.

She made a sound, almost a sob instead of a breathy laugh, before shaking her head. "_I_ wanted to be in Dauntless, but when I transferred…they tagged along." Quieter, more to herself than anything, she murmured, "I should have thought of them, of what they would do."

He disagreed, though he wasn't going to make that opinion known. On one hand, he could understand where she felt the guilt, but on the other he knew that they had still made their own decisions. _Not that that'll comfort her, _he thought before frowning. _She almost sounds like someone from Abnegation… _

"Each of you, grab a gun and stand in front of a target." Cassidy moved away without another word, retrieving a gun before anyone else, leaving Tobias scowling for a moment before stepping forward as well. His stomach coiled into a knot in contempt for the weapon, in memory of his landscape, but the logical part of his brain reminded him he wouldn't be shooting at any_one, _only a thing; a nonliving target.

His heart pounded against his chest as his fingers wrapped around the cool metal of the weapon, his muscles becoming accustomed to the foreign weight as he moved toward a target.

Once each of them had a gun and stood expectantly in front of the simple targets Amar stood in front of one himself, going through the movements of shooting. He fired three times, each time seeming to barely blink at the loud bang that echoed after every shot. "Alright," he said, dropping the gun to his side. "Begin,"

Tobias turned his attention to his target, a furrow between his brows. His heart persisted to pound furiously against his sternum, a rhythm that went in time with the pounding in his head. He took a deep breath, leveling his stance while bringing the weapon up to aim.

A loud bang to his left and someone crowed out in triumph; Jace. Focusing only on the target Tobias took a deep breath, narrowing his vision to the circle in the middle, before clicking the safety off the gun. The audible click echoed in his ears, and the scene of the woman he shot flashed in his memory as his fingered tensed on the trigger, releasing a hollow sound.

Scowling at the target Tobias realized he'd missed it altogether, shooting the wall behind it instead.

"What's wrong, _Four, _short on luck today?"

Taking another deep breath Tobias fought to ignore the taunting voice of Eric as he brought the weapon up to shoot again. He fired again and missed.

"Not like the fear landscapes, hmm? Can't be fortunate enough to only have four fears,"

He fired twice, the first missing the board altogether, but the second one clipped the edge. Breathing out with satisfaction Tobias turned his attention to Eric. "Shouldn't you be focusing on shooting? I don't believe I've heard you fire your _gun_ once,"

He heard Eric swear before he brought his weapon back up, firing repeatedly until he was out of ammunition. Focusing his attention on the target, now containing several holes, Tobias smirked, discovering there were few stray bullets, but the board was decorated with shots primarily around the center. Glancing at Eric's board he saw his was the opposite, while Jace and Cassidy fared well enough.

Retrieving more ammunition Tobias went back to his target, repeating the pattern for the remainder of the time.

Six o' clock came at last, and though Tobias could feel the weariness in his arms and back, he felt a sense of accomplishing something. At the same time though, he felt a sense of dread gripping his stomach at the idea of fighting tomorrow. It would be so much like the quarrels he faced at him, against Marcus, that he was fearful of replicating the pattern here. As it was he had, despite all reasoning, punched Eric.

Shrugging the thought aside Tobias strolled through the compound to the tattoo parlor he'd visited just the day before, surprised to discover Cassidy talking to Tori uncertainly. Walking up he caught snippets of their conversation, but it was clear they were through talking when Tori sighed.

"All I can say is don't talk about it," Tori glanced up at Tobias, her scowl changing to a slight smile. "Back for another tattoo?"

Cassidy stepped back when Tobias nodded, walking up. "Yeah," he frowned, "Or I can come back later if Cassidy plans on getting one,"

When offense clashed in Cassidy's eyes he realized what he'd said and went on.

"I mean, since it looks like you're the only one not giving someone else one."

Tori's eyes sparkled with amusement. "No, I was just leaving," Cassidy said quietly, casting an uncertain glance at Tobias before leaving the parlor in a hurry.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "That was my fault, wasn't it?" he asked, exasperation edging into his tone as he turned to watch her retreating figure.

"What? Her leaving?" She kept a straight until Tobias faced her, and then broke out in laughter. "Not really," she shrugged. "So, do you know what you're getting this time?"

Tobias nodded, wondering whether the request would seem odd before taking a breath. "I want the Abnegation symbol on my back, below the Dauntless symbol."

For a moment she shook her head, a small smile playing upon her lips, but then she noticed he was serious and stopped, watching him intently. A long minute passed, Tobias waiting for her to end her scrutinizing silence before she shrugged, surprise being replaced by acceptance. "If you're sure that's what you want," she paused, "then come on."


	8. Chapter 8

When dawn was just beginning to approach outside the compound, Tobias jerked awake, breaths coming in short, uneven gasps. His heart thundered in his chest, the fading images of himself, gun raised and leveled at the delicate yet determined heart of Cassidy plagued his mind. As his breaths slowed he ran a hand through his disheveled hair that clung to his scalp with sweat while his gaze wandered across the room to find Cassidy resting peacefully.

For a long moment his gaze lingered on the serene smile upon her light lips, taking in the way her hair splayed out under her heart-shaped face. A thrumming, persistent urge to protect her found its clutches on his heart, and as the last flickers of his nightmare escaped him he found himself checking the time earnestly. In a little over three hours each of them would go on to fight someone, and he prayed he wouldn't be forced to fight her. _I'd fight one of the Dauntless born over fighting Cassidy, _he realized, scowling at the ceiling.

With a sigh Tobias slid out of his covers, leaving the bed a mess as he trekked quietly across the room, feet bare to the chill. Opening the door which creaked audibly he left it open to avoid creating more sound. He took a breath before walking down the hallway, angling his way towards the chasm.

_Who will I fight today? _He wondered as he turned down another isolated hallway, the roaring of the chasm's waters reaching his ears as a dull echo. _It'll be either Eric or Jace… _

Eric. _If I fight Eric, what do I know about how he fights? _Tobias snorted, a spurt of twisted humor finding its way to the surface of his thoughts, about the time the full-on roar of the waters cleared his mind.

Taking a calming breath Tobias wandered a bit closer to the chasm, sitting a few feet away from the railings that safeguarded the dangerous plummet. The cool spray which dusted off the water that slammed against the walls serving a prison to the chasm assaulted Tobias, though he barely noticed. His attention was directed at nothing in particular, merely losing himself to the simplicity of the waters beneath him.

Several minutes passed in silence, his heart reaching a normal, even level while his eyes closed peacefully. It was a welcome release from the normal chaos of the Dauntless compound, and it was something Tobias found he couldn't appreciate enough.

Ironically, coming from Abnegation, he'd never had much chance for peace, not that his upbringing aided that aspect of his childhood any. With a breath he opened his eyes, rolling his shoulders to ease the soreness that plagued his muscles without forgiveness. It did little good, but he couldn't muster the desire to care.

"Four? What are you doing up?"

Swallowing Tobias cast a glance over his shoulder, his eyes taking in the ringlets of hair and pale, mossy orbs that greeted him. "Couldn't sleep," he answered, drawing his gaze back to the rapidly moving waters beyond the railings.

He felt more than saw the slim figure sit beside him, legs crossed comfortably, her arm brushing his own. "I heard you leave the room," she commented, barely audible over the deafening water.

Not knowing how to respond Tobias pretended he didn't hear her, resting his elbows on his knees, his chin on his palms. "So," he began before glancing at her from the corners of his eyes.

"If you want me to leave I will," Cassidy spoke evenly, averting her gaze to nothing in particular.

"No," he replied quickly. "No, I'm just," he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "I'm just not good at talking."

For a moment neither of them spoke, simply avoiding each other's gazes, peering off into the dangerous depths, but then Cassidy laughed a bell-like laugh. "So you weren't…at the tattoo parlor," she laughed again, shaking her head so that the pale ringlets danced around her youthful, innocent face.

_So out of place for Dauntless, _he thought, shaking his head. "Nope," he relaxed as much as his sore muscles would allow, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"So what'd you get a tattoo of?"

He smiled wryly at her. "Dauntless symbol," he replied, turning his head slightly, "And yesterday I got the Abnegation symbol."

He watched as surprised played on the furrow between her brows, the widening of her heavy-lashed eyes betraying her emotions. "Because you left Abnegation?"

He shrugged. "Kinda," he admitted, not entirely wanting to offer his explanation, but settling on a portion of the truth. "It was where I grew up, and here is where I'll live for the rest of my life," he frowned. "Well, assuming I make it through initiation."

She scoffed. "Do you really think you won't? With four fears you might even rank first," she exclaimed.

Tobias shrugged, closing his eyes with a breath. "Maybe," was all he said before his curiosity raised its head. "How many fears did you have?"

Cassidy fidgeted with her fingers before shrugging. "Nine,"

He nodded. _Impressive, she had less than Zeke and Shauna, _he thought, rolling his shoulders again. For a moment he glanced out toward the angry, cascading waters beneath them, losing himself in the utter chaos of the foaming force.

"Four, are you alright?"

The question hung in the air for a long moment, leaving Tobias to sneak a look at Cassidy. In that instance their eyes met, his with a thin veil covering the vulnerability his mind was leaking out, while hers shimmered with determination and honest concern. _For my well-being? _He wondered for a stray moment, before the corners of his lips quirked down.

"Yeah, 'course I am," he mumbled, returning his gaze to the waters.

There was a sigh before the sounds of shoe-bottoms scuffling against the floor and the announcement of going back to sleep echoed in Tobias' ears. When he looked up next Cassidy was already several yards away, her back turned to him. For a moment he considered following after her, but something held him back. _Did I…_

Tobias sighed, glanced back at the chasm, then forced his feet to support his weight and propel him toward the arena. He moved mechanically, his mind racing as he struggled to think beyond his encounter with Cassidy, until he reached the arena. As he entered the room his eyes were homed in on the letters that formed each initiates' name, Dauntless-born and transfers. Skimming the list of Dauntless-born he saw Zeke would be facing someone named Nikola, while Shauna would be fighting someone named Anthony. Skipping to the bottom of the list he found Cassidy's name and his stomach plummeted. _Anyone but him, God she won't stand a chance. _

Swearing he turned his back to the board, clenching his jaw in a burst of anger. _Why? _Half running out of the room he forced himself to think, taking deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm himself. Members were beginning to stroll about the walkways, the chatter of the loud and reckless Dauntless rising in volume as minutes passed on.

Tobias simmered in his anger all the way to the bathrooms where he showered quickly before returning to the room to change. Each time his heart beat his mind pulsed with anger and a fierce desire to punch something…or someone.

Thanks for reading ^^ Hope it's still sounding alright, I'm trying to post without too long in between chapters, but writing mostly after midnight doesn't seem to help my writing much.


	9. Chapter 9

As each initiate piled into the arena Tobias found himself next to Cassidy and Jace, while Eric was a few feet away talking with one of the Dauntless-born he wasn't familiar with. For a moment the chatter that filled the room seemed to echo in his ears, but then a single, harsh command from Amar cut through to everyone.

"Now," his eyes swept over the initiates, lingering on a few Dauntless-born, while mostly skimming over each presence. "As you may have noticed, every initiate is here today. This is due to Charlene being unable to cover her position. So, let's begin," as he cut across the arena floor he moved to lean against the far wall, arms crossed. "First match, Zeke and Nikola."

Tobias watched as two figures moved through the crowd of initiates, one he recognized as Zeke, a confident smirk springing to his lips, while the second figure, Nikola he wasn't familiar with. Her elfish build and luminous, animosity-filled smoke-eyes seemed to radiate a strong sense of self-assurance.

As the two stood facing each other, sizing each other up before Amar quirked up, "Begin," he announced, a scowl deepening.

Zeke bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment before lunging forward with a quick left jab that connected with her poorly guarded abdomen. She gasped out but brought her knee up into his side, barely making contact before he snatched her leg, pulling back. With the air knocked out of her she twisted her foot out of his grip, rolling on to her stomach before jumping back to her feet.

She feinted to his left before shooting in to elbow him from his right temple, connecting with an audible curse escaping him. He stumbled a bit before lashing out with an uncoordinated flurry of punches and kicks, some making contact while others sliding by her agile build.

For a long minute the pattern continued, but then he connected a powerful punch to her nose and dark liquid came quickly. Nikola yelled out, punching and kicking in a blind rage before Zeke followed up with a swift punch to her temple, breaths coming in short, quick gasps as he watched his opponent crumple to the ground.

Amar wordlessly moved to where the board rested, circling Zeke's name to declare him the winner before turning his attention to the two initiates. Zeke was already helping Nikola to her feet, helping her take her first couple of steps. "Take her to the infirmary, Zeke," was all he said before glancing back at the board, scowl deepening.

"Next match," his voice seemed to rumble more than normal. "Cassidy and Eric."

Tobias swallowed, fists clenched as the figure beside him took rapid steps toward the center of the arena. Eric too-cheerily strode to the center, across from her. His snide smile seemed to be carved into his lips, menacing to most but to Tobias it was infuriating. He'd give anything to take her place, if for no other reason than so he could beat that cruel expression off his face.

"Hey, calm down, Four," it was Jace. He glanced at him before shrugging.

"It isn't fair," he mumbled, watching as Eric delivered a combination of punches to Cassidy's stomach and side. All the while she kept on her feet, trying to bounce around like Zeke had but only managing to lower her guard. Eric brought his foot hard against her side and she doubled over partially. "I swear to God," he muttered as Eric brought another flurry of fists against her frail frame. _Pass out already, _he wished desperately that she would, but she stayed conscious, ungracefully swaying out of his immediate reach.

The match dragged on for minutes, at one point Cassidy managing to bring a few kicks against Eric's body, undoubtedly leaving bruises. Then she stumbled forward as he caught her foot, pulling her towards him. Off balance she struggled to catch herself before she hit face first, and as he pulled his foot back to kick her in her ribs Amar called out for him to stop.

He didn't stop though until Amar's strong arms wrapped around his arms, easily pinning him against a wall. Tobias watched as he whispered something to the gasping boy before his gaze roamed to Cassidy, limp and fragile. When Eric began stooping to pick up Cassidy Tobias felt his stomach clench, but before he could rush out to the floor he felt a tightening grasp on his wrist.

Turning on the force keeping him from fighting Eric away from Cassidy he found Jace, lips pressed tight with his eyes narrowed. He shook his head slightly before releasing Tobias's wrist, and when he turned to run after Cassidy he saw they were already gone. Amar was already addressing the chalk board to decide on who would fight next.

"Jace and Four," his words rang out hallow in Tobias's mind and even as his feet guided him to the center of the ring his mind flashed images of the crumpled, injured Cassidy.

Jace turned to face him, hand outstretched to shake hands. For a stray moment Tobias glanced at his hand, not familiar with the gesture, before he took his hand and shook it.

A sound of approval came from Amar before he declared the match to begin. Tobias took a deep breath, bringing his hands up while sliding his feet into a fighting stance. _I have to focus, _he tried to tell himself, but then an image of Cassidy, broken, fluttered to the front of his mind and as he lurched forward all his anger was directed in the single punch. His knuckles collided with Jace's stomach, making the boy grunt in pain, but he didn't stop at one punch.

Snaking his right hand up against the boy's cheek he came up with a kick to his side, grimacing when Jace retaliated by twisting away, grasping Tobias's wrist and pulling him forward similar to how Eric had brought Cassidy forward.

Off balance Tobias threw a clumsy punch at his opponent's nose, barely grazing the skin before he was knocked to the ground. He got to his feet quickly, not managing to avoid the punch slamming into his ribcage. Tobias gasped out but forced his feet to leap back.

Taking short breaths he focused on Jace for a moment, eyeing the careful guard that he had adorned. His right leg posed as his leading leg, while his right fist guarded his head. His left fist lingered to protect his chest and part of his abdomen, but his back was completely open, as was a significant portion of his side.

With a breath Tobias lunged forward again, feinted a punch high so that Jace's guard came up, before he brought his knee sharp against his side. Continuing forward with his momentum Tobias brought his right elbow against the boy's temple, sliding past his frame off balance in turn though.

Frowning he leaped back, watching as Jace stumbled, blinking repeatedly as though to clear his vision. Tobias took another breath, watching as his opponent attempted to regain some form of a guard, and then his mind clicked another image of Cassidy, staying on her feet no matter what was thrown at her.

Moving forward with a swift half-skip he brought his knuckles against his temple again, his heart hammering as he watched Jace collapse into the ground. Tobias didn't wait to see his name circled, instead crouched down beside the boy whose eyes were already beginning to flutter open. His stomach clenched when Jace groaned, but wordlessly he helped him to his feet, wrapping Jace's arm around his own shoulder to support his weight as he guided him to the infirmary. Halfway there Jace shrugged his arm free, trudging beside Tobias as they angled their way through the compound.

"Sorry…" the word hung in the air though, leaving Tobias to sift through his conflicted emotions of guilt at injuring Jace and his desperate desire to run to their destination so he could see Cassidy was alive and, if not well, at least capable of continuing with initiation.

He heard a kind of chuckle, temporarily distracting him from the image burned into his mind of Cassidy. "You like her, don't you?"

Tobias stopped for a moment, frowning, the furrow between his brows deepening. "Ah…" he began, realizing he was at a loss for words. Did he? _Do I? _

"Go on, I'm fine," he was laughing, holding his side. With a sigh he shook his head. "Go make sure she's alright, I know you're being slow to accommodate for beating me up,"

He felt like laughing at the insanity of what he'd just been told, but in fact, he realized, it was entirely true. "Thanks," he responded swiftly before running away from his battered, fellow initiate, his heart racing.

In minutes he was at the infirmary, eyes scanning for a nurse. When his eyes latched on to a woman who was administering aid to someone Tobias realized was Nikola he lurched forward, forcing himself to breathe and not assume the worst. "Is Cassidy alright?"

The woman turned to face him before concern touched her eyes. "Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about, but if you'd take a seat I'll be over to treat you in a moment."

His heart joined his stomach as he raced out of the room, ignoring the woman's loud protests at his absence. _What the hell did he do? _he thought as his feet pounded against the ground.

After a long minute of running Tobias took a deep breath, sighing. Where could he check? The pit? _Not likely, surely there'd be too many people… _"Dammit," he swore, bringing his already sore fist against the nearest wall.

_The chasm… _His stomach knotted against itself as he forced his legs to carry him to the only destination he could think of to look. If she wasn't there he didn't know where else he could check, except maybe the room but…

As the roaring of the water echoed in his head his eyes narrowed on two figures, one with longer hair than the other. Tobias's mind took a moment to comprehend what the scene before him held, but then everything snapped into place.

The pale, blonde-haired figure with the battered and beaten body, was struggling against Eric who was forcing her against the railing. Her feet weren't touching the ground, which made his heart pound faster.

"Get away from her," Tobias yelled, no more than a few yards away from the two now. When he was only feet away he lunged, no longer caring about technique or fighting a clean match. He was in an utter bloodlust, and as he hailed punch after punch down upon Eric he barely noticed Cassidy, weak and sobbing, not far away.

It wasn't until she screamed that he stopped his anger-incentive attack on Eric, realizing at the same time that the boy was unconscious. _Oh God…_ "Cassidy, are you okay?" his voice was strained, and his chest felt like it would explode if he didn't get away from the scene.

When he brought his eyes to her he saw a veil of pain over the fear that shimmered in her eyes. Tears trailed down her cheeks, and darker, dried liquid stood out against her skin. "Four," her voice quivered as he got up, moving away from Eric while maintaining his presence between the two, separating him from her line of vision.

"Cassidy, let me get you to the infirmary," he murmured, taking her hand and sliding it over his shoulders. His fingers found their way to her waist as they made their slow, strenuous journey to the infirmary. Once she was in the hands of the nurses, and he'd received the clearance that she would survive and recover, he escaped the concern-filled eyes of the same nurses and jogged lightly to where he'd left Eric.

His heart beat furiously against his sternum as he crouched down beside Eric who seemed to be coming around. Tobias felt the fiery anger entering his veins again and had to take several deep, calming breaths before he could speak. "Eric, you're going to the infirmary, but you aren't going to tell anyone I did this to you."

The figure seemed to swear, but his words were so thick it was hard to make out. Tobias glanced off at the roaring waters for a long moment before returning his attention to Eric. "If you tell anyone," he made his voice come out cold, though at some point his anger had drained away and he felt like sleeping for hours. The last desire remaining in him was to threaten the boy he'd already beaten so badly, but he forced the words to leave his lips anyways. It could be important later on.

"Then this will be nothing, got it?"

Eric nodded almost imperceptibly, and with a sigh Tobias bent down to get him to his feet, nearly carrying him to the infirmary. Once they arrived he skirted all questions before evading the care the nurses tried to give him. Instead he returned to the room, retrieved clean clothes, and went to the bathroom to clean himself up and change.

When he left the bathroom his mind was racing and his guilt had reached new heights. _I haven't even been here a week and I've done this much…_

_Thanks for reading, again. With the past chapters I've really been going bit-by-bit, but after the next couple of chapters there's going to be quite a few days skipped/summarized , partially because fighting scenes are a bit boring for me to write, plus, I've just never really seen fighting scenes as providing much information on the characters aside from their reactions afterwards. Anyways, thanks again ^^_


	10. Update Reasoning

Sorry guys, I've been meaning to update for a while but due to recent events including my mom having a heart attack and my taking care of her for the past few days, I've been incapable of writing. Probably horrible grammar but anyways, yeah, I'll update when I get a chance, thanks and sorry if ya'll thought there would be a chapter with this. I've got one half-way typed so maybe I'll update within the next couple days.


	11. Chapter 10

The next couple days went in a blur of fighting, eating, and sleeping. Tobias had won two out of his three matches, having lost against one of the Dauntless-born–Chase–but today would be different.

As Tobias stretched, wiping the sleep out of his eyes he remembered that the previous day they had been told they would be seeing the jobs of Dauntless members at the gates. His mind painted a dully-colored scene of peculiar Dauntless members guarding gates, and in the corner of his thoughts he pondered what they were guarding.

"Tobias, are you coming?" It was the familiar voice of the female he'd become accustomed to being around, one who he supposed, as Jace had suggested, he liked. The furrow between his brows deepened as he brought his indigo, almond-shaped eyes to the mossy orbs that watched him from a few feet away, concern pulsating through the distance.

A wry smile sprung to his lips as he stretched again before allowing his feet to touch the floor with a soft _thump. _"Yeah," he answered, retrieving a simple, semi-loose black shirt, a V-neck, and baggy, khaki-like black pants. Wordlessly he tugged off the shirt he currently wore, knowingly aware of Cassidy's keen eyes and slight blush. Tossing the clothing to the side he slipped the new shirt on, changing pants swiftly.

Bringing his eyes up to Cassidy's he cocked his head slightly, smile still playing at the corners of his lips. The silence dragged out for a moment before she cast her gaze out of the deserted room, placing her hands on her hips with a quiet breath of air. "Your tattoos are healed up," she murmured, almost too softly for him to hear.

Tobias nodded, following her stare to find the penetrating yet laughing hazel eyes shaded by long dark lashes. The golden skin, unblemished and stretching gracefully over prominent, wiry muscles seemed to mock the more minor emergences about Tobias's own forearms.

Tobias brought his eyes searching into Zeke's, silently interrogating the tensed stance that contrasted so heavily against his soundless laughter. "Later I need to talk to you," he pursed his lips before shrugging. "And bring Cassidy,"

Raising a brow Tobias nodded, watching as Zeke jogged away before shaking his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ready?" he asked, eyes closed though a sixth sense seemed to tell him Cassidy was indeed watching him, unrelenting in her stare.

"Yeah,"

The train ride to the gates seemed to glide by with the speed of a snail, and try as Tobias might to listen to what Amar explained about the guards, his mind refused to focus. Combined with the tentative glances shot in his direction from Cassidy, the memory of her soft, warm lips against his strong, and the thought of whatever it had been that Zeke required both him and Cassidy to talk about his stomach had turned into an acrobat.

"Cassidy, what did I just say?"

Tobias glanced sharply away from the gates to the puzzled expression in Cassidy's eyes, brows shot up quizzically. His ears picked up the snickering from Eric before his focus returned to the almost confused tone stuttering over her reply. "I-I'm not sure, Amar."

Amar snorted, a shake of his head as he bore his eyes into Tobias, an expectant smirk in his direction. About the time Tobias had opened his mouth for the submission of his distracted mind Jason quirked up, speaking quickly.

"You were just saying how if we don't rank within the first few spots then we will more than likely work up here, guarding the gates."

Amar brought his eyes to Jason, a half-laugh-half-snort escaping him. "Fine, Four, you got lucky, anyways, if none of you have any questions then we'll be returning to the compound…?"

Tobias scowled, hesitating before his curiosity got the best of him. "What are we guarding against?"

He watched as the defined circles beneath the man's eyes seemed to deepen, eyes becoming stormy. "_We_ aren't guarding anything," he spoke coolly, eyes glaring into Tobias's for a moment before dismissing the four of them to leave.

As Tobias began to follow Eric, Jason and Cassidy he felt a cool grasp tightening around his wrist. Tensing himself he glanced quizzically at Amar who had adorned a sorrowful gleam in those dark, deep eyes, scowl deepening. "Don't get too smart, Four," he muttered before patting him on the shoulder not too-lightly, passing him to take the lead of the group. Pausing for a moment Tobias frowned at the dusty ground, tossing the words around in his mind, a silent warning screaming in the back of his mind.

_Something's not right, _he thought, sighing before jogging to catch up with the remainder of his group. Wordlessly he found himself jumping into the cart, plopping beside Cassidy without a glance in her direction. The silence and uneasiness warring together in the trivial distance separating the two seemed to shout at both of them.

Once again the ride to the compound persisted to pass by at an absolute _adagio_ pace, each second giving the impression of a minute, and every minute lasting an hour. His heartbeat seemed to vibrate in his skull; his breathing all too loud to his own ears, and where their skin just barely brushed electricity sizzled.

Tobias had been the first to leap off the train, walking with long, swift strides toward the compound where he broke out into a full out run. He wasn't sure where his legs were carrying him; he only knew he needed away, to distance himself from the feelings seeming to be renewed with each beat of his heart.

Once he finally crossed the distance of the compound though his footfalls slowed, his breathing coming in short, fulfilling gasps. His legs welcomed the exercise, but his mind refused to yield concrete, unproblematic space to ponder anything except the awkwardness that had replaced the easy relationship he and Cassidy had had.

"Hey," Zeke yelled from a distance, footsteps nearing, echoes strengthening. "Tobias, what's wrong?"

Tobias glanced up, partially surprised at hearing his name from Zeke's lips. "Nothing," he answered frowning. "Why?"

Concern tinted those enthusiastic eyes, brows turning in toward each other. "Well, Cassidy was…erm…"

"What?" Tobias asked too quickly, managing to stumble over the single word while his muscles stiffened. "Is she alright?"

"Well, I s'ppose so, but man," he paused for a moment before sighing, "she was crying," despite Zeke telling him what was going on he posed it as a question, voice lowering at the end as was peculiar to him and his brother, Uriah, who Tobias had only met twice on coincidence.

Tobias swore, lowering his gaze to the ground. "Zeke, she kissed me."

He coughed, scratching behind his ear, a dubious expression replacing his concerned one. "Well, that doesn't explain why she was crying…unless you're just that terrible of a kisser,"

Tobias glared at him, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Zeke," he warned, watching as his friend brought hands up in a surrendering gesture, stepping back slightly. "Cassidy kissed me and I…didn't respond well."

"Well, do you not like her?" he asked, frowning. "Hell, man, you changed clothes in front of her, which kinda gives the wrong impression."

He sighed. "Yes, I _like_ her but…"

"But what?" Zeke asked, exasperation toning his voice as he raised his hands is gesture. "C'mon, if you like her then what's the issue?"

A memory sprung to the surface of his mind and he cringed inwardly, scowling. "I need to talk to her," he thought aloud, smiling apologetically at Zeke. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" but he didn't wait for an answer before running off in the direction he was certain she would be.

The rushing, exuberant waters, delicate mist downplaying the viciousness the chasms possessed, met Tobias's ears as his feet carried him to where the long, pale blonde hair girl sat perched a few feet from the railings. "Cassidy," he yelled out, closing the remaining distance before he stood a foot away from her hunched figure, shoulders shaking visibly. "Cassidy I'm sorry," he said, just loud enough for her to hear.

She pretended not to hear and he scowled, crouching down beside her. "Cassidy, I'm sorry I reacted badly, but I need you to understand why."

"No," she mumbled. "No I don't, _Four, _I don't need to know why you don't want me to kiss you, I've got the idea."

Tobias frowned, biting back what he wanted to say. "I don't think you do know," sighing he sat cross-legged beside her, head turned her direction. "In Abnegation it was…drilled into me to shy away from contact with others,"

"That's how it always is, I'm not ignorant." She said blankly.

"I know," he answered quickly, taking a deep breath before continuing in a dull tone. "Okay, look, I'm not good with it especially because Marcus, my father, abused my mother and me since I was young. My mother left pretty quick after it started to get bad, but up until I left Abnegation I had to deal with it without a mother, and without any real affection shown…" At some point during his story his eyes had roamed across the small distance away from the chasm, the mist slowly but steadily drenching his hair so that it hung messily to the tips of his ear lobes.

"Tobias," her voice displayed her horror easily and slowly he brought his gaze to meet hers.

"I don't know what reasons you came up with, but they aren't it…I like you," he finished sheepishly, a wry smile beginning to surface.

"I'm sorry," she spoke quietly now and he had to strain to hear her. "I shouldn't have reacted that way, and I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone."

They were facing each other full on, and slowly they closed the distance between each other, Cassidy's lips light against his until he relaxed, unresisting as she wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers playing with a stray curl of hair by the nape of his neck. They broke apart hesitantly but didn't move for a long while, until Zeke, accompanied by Shauna, found them to inquire about dinner.


End file.
